Take It to the Limit (Jerod's First Tale - Part 3)

I didn't realise that life as a wannabe Emperor of Evil was going to be so mundane. Life is pretty much stable and all is quiet.

I do get to practice painting from time to time. I think I'm going to give this one as a gift to Tania. It's not worth the cost of the canvas but she'll think I'm such a darling for giving her something. And it's got a soppy scene, a heart and lovey dovey stick figures, just her style.

There are the ever present bills to take care of. Damnit, when I rule the world...

Actually, I won't stop bills. After all, if I rule, the money is all mine. Score! I wonder what more things I could charge for.

I'm still doing most of the cooking.

Tania stills eats whatever I put on the table. Even when my efforts are way overcooked.

I'm still finding out stuff about Tania.

Miss Goody Goody does have flaws. She's such a slob. She never cleans anything. The shower is hideous when she finishes. If she does cook, she never picks up in the kitchen. And her idea of washing dishes is to lick them clean. Even after they start getting green around the edges. That's just...[shudder]

Also she is constantly playing her guitar. Frankly, it is getting annoying that the woman has nothing better to do. Ever.

Well, until my path crosses hers again. She's drawn to me like a moth to the flame.

Pretty moths must learn not to play with fire. Fire kills moths.

The two of us share a bed almost every night. We should probably sell the other bed. I couldn't use it for woohoo if Tania is home. If she is out, I can use the bed we share.

I knew she'd go for that silly painting. Place of honour above her bed no less.

Well, well, well, Miss Goody Goody is swimming without clothes. She was the one who rang me that that local pool was open but the town should be in bed. She certainly has more possibilities then I realised.

It doesn't seem nearly as much fun as that hot tub. Still, there's that thrill of jumping into water naked that makes it just so fan-fucking-tastic.

I swam around for some time, then I had a lovely idea. I nipped out to steal her clothes.

Then I faked a call from someone. "Tania?"

"Yes?"

"We've been asked over to Red Rendezvous. They need a bit of live music. The guy I was talking to sounded very distressed about it." Tania won't be able to resist a plea for help. I just know she'll fall for this.

"Shrimp?"

"Yes?"

"What happened to my clothes?"

"No idea, sweety. We have to go!" Oh yes, this is a score, she is going to Red Rendezvous in a towel. Coolest damn trick ever.

Give Tania credit. She was blushing like crazy, until that guitar got in her hands. She started playing and absolutely nothing else mattered. Not the towel, not the audience, her guitar was all that existed in the universe.

The next afternoon after work my boss, Dennis Racket invited me to his home. The call came not long after I had been promoted to protection aka thug. In my profession, it's never wise to ignore your boss. He met me at the door and led me upstairs to his study.

"Mr Shrimpton, I've heard good things about you from your coworkers. Putting in extra time the other day was a wise move."

"Thanks, Boss. You've put together a good crew."

"I've heard from other sources that you're a bit of a party boy."

"Guilty, Boss. I love a good party more than most. Bring on the music and the booze, I'll be on the dance floor before anyone else."

"And hot tubs?" He smiled. There was something uncomfortable about the way he was looking at me. I couldn't quite work out what.

I raised an eyebrow. This dude has lived in this one horse town forever. He knows there aren't any. "Hot tubs? I wish."

"I might buy a hot tub for you. I've heard it said that you so anxious for one that you'd skinny dip with anyone?"

"I might have said that, true"

"The annual big charity ball is coming up. I'll buy the hot tub if you agree to act as an escort for someone. A full escort service for the night. Do you get my drift?"

"Full escort from door to party, lot's of attention at the party and umm later to their bed?"

"I see you do get the drift. Not really asking that much, given that you'll be earning such an expensive item as a reward."

Hmm, basically sell my 'services' for a single night for a very expensive toy. Hell yeah. "Sure, I'm in. So, Boss, who's the lucky lady I'm taking? Maiden aunt, old friend, widow?" He can't be thinking about his daughter. Lolly's a bit young for a full escort.

He started to reached out toward my face. "Ah pretty boy, you'll be taking me."

OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT It was sheer instinct that made me push his hand away.

It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up with what Dennis said. "But you're married. Two kids."

"That is not your problem." He looked at me and I swear he licked his lips. "I've been thinking it's time to come out. And once I saw you, pretty boy, I knew both when and with who I wanted to do it."

"But I have zero interest in guys. There must be some guy around looking for a boyfriend."

"I want you. Only you. You'll have to learn to live with that."

"Suppose I say no?"

"Oh, pretty boy, you don't want to do that. I might get cross. If I get cross, you most certainly will live to regret it. However, it may not be a very long life. On the other hand, if you are a good boy, I may buy you more gifts over time. Come here and give me a taste."

I am so SCREWED. I said yes too soon. He tried to move in for that kiss but I managed to keep him at arms length.

"Saving yourself for later? All right, pretty boy. Just remember, the next time is in front of the town." He looked me over, the cat who has just spotted the cream. "Don't rent a tux, I'll send you the clothes to wear."

I have to admit bolting out, with his laughter following me. If I escort him to this ball, everyone in town will either see us or hear about it from others. I'll be lucky if anyone would dare do as much as dance with me. They'll all assume I belong to Dennis. I am just so screwed.

Hollywood Waltz (Jerod's First Tale - Part 2)

I need to start learning about the people in this town. Who might be allies/friends? Who might be enemies? Who might be a rival?

Marigold Racket, she's evil but retired. That puts her in the potential friend or ally category. Or it should but I have a feeling that some of her family work in the warehouse. Don't count on her support if family gets involved.

Man gets hungry after a good workout. With Tania's promotion and mine, we can afford to stop by the cheap diner for food.  Not great but better than my cooking. One of us needs to work on this cooking thing. Probably me, I'm sure that Tania will appreciate it.

Oh, did I mention my promotion yet? I'm now a cutpurse and working during the day. Annoying in a way, it's going to eat into my ability to bar hop if I have to be at work when the bars start opening up.

Tania and I decided to get some band practice in.We used the instruments in Red Rendezvous again. We still can't afford a drum kit for me.

We are definitely getting better. But one guitar and drums does not make a band.

So we asked a couple of other people to join us.

Tatianna Solez plays a mean bass. She also gives out some mega tough vibes, I better be ready to run interference if she bullies Tania. Nobody can mess with my roomie but me.

Another random find was MJ Rose. She's decent on the keyboards, about the same as I am on the drums. The four of us jammed together for quite some time. Eventually though, we did have to take a break.

I wanted to chat with MJ because she's cute. Very cute.

She was headed downstairs after the session, it took me a few moments to catch up. I did finally get her to stop so we could have a chat.

"Hey gorgeous, where's the fire?"

"What?"

"Don't be in such a rush to leave. I wanted to get to know you. You're wicked on that keyboard."

"Thanks but there are better players out there."

"In this one horse town? I don't think so. Tania and I have a band, wanna join up?"

"Really? Sounds like fun. Do you have any gigs?"

"Not yet. We need a bass player and then we'll need to prove our worth. At least it will be fun to jam out until someone notices us."

"I'm in."

"Great. Just one more question."

"Yes?"

"What's your sign, cutie?" Damn, she blushed. Don't all the guys hit on her?

"Aquarius."

"Oh baby, I'm Aries, we are just meant to be together." She blushed again and went for the bar. Cute and shy, what possibilities.


The other thing I wanted to ask her was about joining me in a hot tub but there aren't any in town. Damn, all these cute woman and not a single hot tub to skinny dip in.

Since band practice was over, it was time to party down.

"Tania, wanna dance?"

"Sure, why not Shrimpy." Damn, I wish she wouldn't call me that. Makes me want to ... I don't know but she'd notice that I'm not the nicest guy in town.

Pretty good on the dance floor. I'd say we're a hot couple but with that flamethrower there, who wouldn't be?

I tried one of the bar drinks. Interesting colour. Wonder what's in it?

Heh, MJ can't look my direction without blushing again. Very cute, she is at the top of my to-do list.

I indulged in some table dancing.

Hey, ladies of Twinbrook. You know you want a piece of this action. Step right up and let me show you a good time.

Damnit, where are they? I know I'm smokin'. 

It turned out that Tania had idiotically already invited Amy Bull into the band. No idea what was going on in that cute little head.

It was up to me to be the bad guy and kick Amy out. That way we can get Tatianna in and have a proper band.

"Amy, how come you failed to turn up when Tania called a practice session?"

"I had work."

"Work? When you are in the band, the band has to come first. We'll never get gigs if 'work' gets in your way. You are out!" Short and to the point, a clean break.

Pity that Amy won't like me after this because I'd like to get her into a hot tub. After finding out her sign. She's cute.

Damn, I wonder where the hell I'm going to get a hot tub. We are a long way from buying one ourselves and there are so many foxy chicks in this town. They deserve a piece of my action.

Maybe I can find a rich old biddy to buy one. I'd make the sacrifice of skinny dipping with *anyone* if that means I can get girls into a hot tub when I want.

Mary Baker, not friend but not foe. Not interesting either.

I see that Tania is chatting with Amy. Amy doesn't hate her. Damn having to be the bad guy in this case.

Hmm, Sinbad Rotter. He's evil and one of my coworkers. Potential rival in the making, I have to keep a close eye on this one. Of course, if he's interested in stealing, we might end up being best pals. Thieves are not my rivals.

After a highly successful night, Tania and I headed for home.

This is weird. I don't find Tania attractive in the least. Sure, she is cute but there's just no real connection that I can feel.

And yet she's irresistible to me. One flirt and I want her in bed, again.

"Hey baby, let me relieve some of your tension."

"Shrimpy, you do that so well."

"I can do even more if you want to hop into bed with me."

She gave me a kiss that stole my breath away and lead me to her bed.

Yes, seriously she took me straight to her bed.

Tania isn't my soul mate but she's a damn fine fuck buddy. We do have a lot of fun and relieve a lot of tension in bed. Roomies with benefits.

My favourite hobby is painting. The only problem is that I'm not good enough to make any money at it all.

Is it a waste of time to keep trying?

Tania really is a dedicated musician, even if she is a goody goody. Only a few hours before she is supposed to turn up to work and she's out trying for tips.

Unfortunately, this town is stuffed with tightwads. No one dropped a coin in her case. Not one lousy coin.

I will fix that when I'm Emperor. 

Back at the gym, my coworkers have mentioned that fitness is a vital part of the job.

Damn, working out is hard. Really hard, I just hope the results will be worth the effort.

----
Bonus pics

Hey Dee, look at the family I found in my bin! Definitely yours though it's been so long since I've seen them that I can't remember much about the North at all. Star Matlock isn't yours but the rest are.

Couldn't work out a good reason Jerod would want you to see his backside in a shower but I certainly think some of you would like it. Note to self, room too small, must make bigger for a better angle.

Twallan's woohooer rates Tania and Jerod at 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. Truly, no attraction at all. But seriously, every time they flirt, they want to woohoo. No idea what's up with that.

Journey Of The Sorcerer (Jerod's First Tale - Part 1)

I'm Jerod, but you can call me Shrimp. An uncle of mine gave me that name when I really was quite small and it's stuck. I've just moved to Twinbrook, it strikes me as a good place to be the big fish in a small town. I ditched the family and all family ties. I don't want to hear from them and I'm sure they do not want to hear from me. You've heard that every family has a black sheep? Well, that would be me. I have plans - rule the world type plans. Well, probably just the town but that should be enough to keep me in the lifestyle I want to be accustomed to.

I've also been thinking, it can't be easy to make those plans work or we'd have an evil emperor already. I need to develop a cover persona, someone that no one suspects of evil. Kind of like those idiot do-gooders and their tendency to have some alternate that is just a normal guy/girl.

So step one of my cover is the new roommate. Meet Tania Kennedy. She's cute, which is a bonus for me, and she is good. Like contribute money to the "Save the llama" foundation good. That makes me more than a bit sick actually. But who will suspect me of doing bad if I'm living with Miss Goody Goody here? As long as she doesn't suspect, it will be the perfect cover.

Miss Goody Goody wants to be a musician. That suits me fine, another part of my cover is being part of a band. Explains late nights, some destructive behaviour, hanging out in the local dives. First I will have to learn to play an instrument, but how hard could it be?

I had to get some contractors in. We just had a lot, no house. Now we have a house but no money. Bummer. I have my side of the house, she has her side. We have to share the kitchen but that seems quite reasonable. Plenty of room for more stuff. When we can afford it.

It's not an evil lair, no excessive amounts of black, spiders, skeletons or anything else. I'd like an evil lair, but that's just going to have to wait till I have control of this town. When everyone does know who I am and what I am but they dare not touch me.

Even an evil emperor has to eat. Since we can't afford to go out, well, cooking is a useful skill.

Yeah, I do like Lord Sponge. If I had the cash, I'd have the complete collection already. Bite me if you don't like it. Be warned, I bite back, hard.

I even made enough for Tania. Can't have Miss Goody thinking I'm selfish or anything. Not yet, it's way too early to show my colours.

"Shrimpy?"

"Shrimp, not Shrimpy."

"Ok, Shrimp. What job did you get?"

"I'm one of the go-fer guys at the local warehouse."

"Go-fer?"

"Go-fer coffee, go-fer lunch, go-fer whatever the bosses need."

"I got a great job at the theatre."

"What, usher?"

"Well, not quite usher but something similar."

Damn, had to pay some bills. Even more money gone. This is going to be bad.

Why the hell didn't I grab more of the family excess stuff before I left? Mum and Dad had more stuff then they knew what to do with anyway.

Oh, right, I wanted to prove to that I don't need anyone's help to get by. That was idiotic and way too proud. Too late now though.

For now, let's put on the show. Lucky for me, the Red Rendezvous has added a place for open mic night upstairs. All the instruments we need for a band. I've decided to try drumming. Laying down the beat just feels right.

After some drum practice, I spent the rest of the evening partying. I had a great time on the dance floor.

And of course I spent what little I could on some drinks. Good thing the drums and dance floor are free because that's about all I can afford.

She came home with the good news that she's been promoted. I'm pleased for both of us.

"It's so exciting. I'll be a roadie for one of the biggest Sim bands ever."

"Tania, speaking of bands, how would you like to form one with me?"

"You? You play?"

"Drums. Not the best by a long shot but hey, you have to start somewhere."

"I think that's a great idea that we form band. We'll be famous in no time."

Looking at Tania, I had just one thought.

All part of my cover story. Plus, she is damned cute.

Sometimes I like to take cover very literally too.

Well, that's one notch for the belt. The first of many, I'm sure.

"Hey, Tania. How about we hit the gym today?"

"Gym?"

"Sure, it will be great. Need to stay in shape for our future fans." And my future career but why ruin the moment?

Working out is good.

Falling over while working out? Not so good. Bruised shins and very bruised pride but I'll live.